The Frustration of Haruhi Suzumiya
by secret base
Summary: Kyon is warned that something big involving Haruhi is going to happen soon. When an event sets off Haruhi's emotions, Kyon has to save the world. Again. Haruhi/Kyon. Chapter five- End! Complete! Done! Now I can get some sleep. Just kidding.
1. in which warnings occur

It was just another day in the clubroom. Yuki was typing furiously away at the computer, Suzumiya-san was making tea, Asahina was reading as always, and Kyon was playing a board game.

Nah, I'm just messing with you. But now I'm imagining that picture, and it's kind of freaking me out...

All jokes aside, I entered the clubroom (not before knocking) on a relatively normal Tuesday in February. Asahina-san greeted me with an angelic smile as always, while Nagato appeared as if she didn't even notice me, though I was sure she did. I wasn't that surprised to see that our leader was absent from her chair, but what did make me raise my eyebrows was the fact that the ever-smiling Koizumi looked, well, kind of stressed.

"Hey," I said casually, setting down my bag and taking my seat in my usual chair.

"Hello," Koizumi said in something of a tired voice.

"You seem down. Are you suffering stress or something?"

He chuckles slightly before replying. "No. I'm afraid the cause is our own Suzumiya-san."

Well, now that I think about it, that's not really a surprise.

"Well, what's up?"

"An interesting phenomenon has been occurring lately in relation to closed spaces," Koizumi explained as he reached under the table and retrieved a board game. On closer inspection, it appeared to be Othello. "Both large and small spaces are appearing in the space of one area, much like polka dots on a tie or similar article of clothing. When we get to them, they immediately disappear. Us espers have been led on something of a wild goose chase all night," he confessed with a tired smile, putting the board on the table.

I make the first move, putting my black piece on the board. I wonder what's wrong with Haruhi's mood. "Do you know the cause of the problem?"

"Not as yet."

"Well, I'm sure it'll past soon."

"Kyon."

His tone suddenly turns serious. I look up from idly moving my piece this way and that.

"I'm afraid that this might become a bit of a problem for you soon."

How? And also, why me?

"You are the person closest to Haruhi, are you not?" that bastard says, smiling and softly putting down his black piece. "But I'm warning you, (he says unusually solemnly) be prepared."

I blink in confusion and prepare to say something like "Huh?"

Before I can get a word out, the door opens. The reason why this is unusual is because the door does not open with a loud, freaking BANG! the way it usually does when Haruhi walks in. Instead it just... swings open, the way a normal person might open the door.

In walks Haruhi. "Hello, everyone."

Now I definitely know there's something wrong, because her voice seems... quieter.

Who are you and what have you done with Haruhi?

"Shut up, Kyon."

Not, "Shut up, stupid Kyon!" but a quiet, resigned "Shut up, Kyon."

Now I'm kind of worried. What if Haruhi has been replaced by an alien impostor? That certainly could happen... nah, it seems too unlikely. It's because of Haruhi's influence that I'm thinking things like this, dammit!

It definitely takes a lot to make the infuriatingly energetic Haruhi change like this. I really hope the whole world is not going to end because of this sudden mood change.

Nothing of significance happened the rest of the meeting, except that I won Othello again, and Haruhi was completely silent for the whole length of the meeting. I'm sure it's nothing like what Koizumi and company are making it out to be, but I hope Haruhi is back to her old self by tomorrow.

Wait, what am I saying? I hope she stays like this for a while. Right?

I shook the annoying thoughts out of my head just as Nagato closed her book. Haruhi looked up, distracted. "Ah. Leaving. Okay. Dismissed."

...I wonder- oh, whatever! I'm going home!

_/_/_/_/_/_/

I was lazily surfing channels on TV when a phone call arrived. It was from Nagato. Naturally, I picked it up immediately. When Nagato calls, it's not for small talk.

"Hello? Nagato?"

"..."

"...This is Nagato, right?"

"..."

"Na-"

"Seven o'clock. Coffee shop."

And she hung up with a barely audible click.

_/_/_/_/_/

Naturally I got myself to the shop Koizumi, Nagato, Asahina-san, Haruhi, and myself usually meet in as fast as I could. If Nagato was going to tell me another life-changing revelation again, I hope it wouldn't involve me getting into another life-threatening experience.

She was already there when I came, of course.

"Hey."

"..."

"What did you want to talk to me about anyway?"

"...Not here."

Huh? "Where are we going?"

"My apartment," the purple-haired girl replied, eyes rising slowly to meet mine.

Well, I guess you can't go telling important stuff about auto-evolution or whatever in front of a bunch of strangers.

We walked the short distance to Nagato's apartment and went up the elevator, the humanoid interface not saying a word the whole time.

Sometimes I wonder why the Auto Data Entity or whatever Nagato's creator is called "programmed" her to be such an introverted girl. It sure does make me pissed. Though I have to admit, I'd much prefer the real Nagato to her self in that alternate universe I visited for three days, before. The Nagato we have now just seems more... human. Don't ask me why. Sometimes I feel Nagato's calm behavior is the only constant in this world, the only thing that won't ever change.

Then December 18th happened and my view of the entire world was turned upside down, but that's another story.

We entered Nagato's apartment, and we sat down next to her kotatsu. As soon as I took a seat, she began to speak.

"There has recently been a disturbance of data around Haruhi Suzumiya."

Haruhi again, but what did I expect. "Is this the same thing that Koizumi was talking about?"

"Yes. Haruhi Suzumiya is currently experiencing frustration, which causes the abnormalities labeled as 'closed spaces'. This frustration is caused by one source alone," Nagato answers quietly.

"And who would that be?" I asked, afraid I already knew the answer.

"You."

Crap. "Why? I'm doing everything Haruhi wants, I'm going along with all her schemes. What more does she want?" I asked, feeling a surge of irritation.

"The cause of her frustration with you relates to-"

Nagato stops.

"What?" I ask. For a second I'm afraid she's malfunctioning or something, because Nagato never stops in the middle of a sentence.

The humanoid interface's speech becomes slightly faster. "I am not permitted to tell you at this time. Disclosing this information would currently not be... wise."

"Why would it not be wise? I'm apparently the closest to Haruhi, right? So why shouldn't I know?"

"That is precisely the reason why disclosing the information would be a mistake."

"...Huh?" I seem to be saying that a lot lately.

In one swift motion, Nagato stands up. "That is all. You may leave."

"But-"

Nagato beams her violet eyes into mine and I realize I should probably shut up.

"I... guess I'll leave."

A nod.

I stand up and move toward the door and put my hand on the doorknob.

"Wait."

The sudden, monotone voice of the girl behind me cuts through the silence. I turn around. "What is it?"

Nagato slowly takes a step further, causing me to back out into the hall..

"...Suzumiya Haruhi regards you as her closest friend."

She does? Before I can question her regarding this matter, she adds "...Prepare."

Nagato slowly closes the door.

First Koizumi, then Nagato. I have a feeling of dread that something big is going to happen soon.

_/_/_/_/_/_/

a.n.

new story. too lazy to write anything. please review.


	2. in which idiocy occurs

After the events of the previous day, I was ready for the calm events of a normal school day, or as normal as a day can get if you know Haruhi Suzumiya. I was hoping she would regain some of her usual color today. Yes, yes I was. Haruhi quiet and sullen felt really wrong for some reason, and I was hoping she'd have something new planned for the SOS Brigade.

I must have gone crazy.

Trudging up the hill on that day, I was calmly walking my way to school when a figure appeared.

The figure of a girl I thought I'd never see again.

Her face still holding that never-ending, calm, affectionate, evil smile, the girl tilted her head and gave me the once-over with eyes that still chilled me to the bone. The girl who tried to kill me, the once incident I still have nightmares about.

"Morning, Kyon-kun," said Ryoko Asakura.

"What the h-hell are you doing here?" I managed to stammer with the wits I had left.

"Just stopping by for a short visit. Not happy to see your old friend?" she said with a small frown. I can't believe it's actually her. Goodbye, world. It was nice knowing all of my friends and going on trips and random supernatural experiences...

"Cut the crap! Just... go back to where you came from! Or I... I'll tell Haruhi everything!" It's a feeble threat. I doubt she takes it seriously.

"Oh, Kyon-kun." She laughs. "You know you can't go against me. Besides, there's no use trying to run. Once again, this space is under my total control," she says, hands behind her back innocently, her head tilted, still with that damn smile. That smile is worse than Fujiwara's smirk or Koizumi's plastic grin, it has a hint of evil to it.

Oh my God. She really is going to kill me here!

"Now, now, don't be silly. As much as I think eliminating you will solve all the problems, the Entity begs to differ. And I wouldn't want to go against my master, would I?"

Oh, don't give me that shit! You're the one who wanted to shove that knife down my throat!

She smiles again, her blue hair waving tantalizingly in the wind. "Enough small talk, then. I'll have to tell you why I'm visisiting at last."

"Around last year, you met Haruhi Suzumiya for the first time. Her introduction was quite unusual from the typical high-school student, so you decided to strike up a conversation. Ultimately, you were turned down, right?"

Why are you telling me all this? Meeting Haruhi is one of my most vivid memories. I already know everything you're say-

"Listen."

I'm sure I imagined the hint of malice in her voice. As crazy as Asakura is, she hasn't spoke like that before, and she won't now, right?

I look up to see the regular smile. It was... my imagination.

"You talked to her again, and she finally spoke to you. Haruhi Suzumiya, who spoke to no one, who was only interested in aliens, time-travellers, or espers. Right?"

Again, what's your point?

She began to tick of things on her finger. "Haruhi Suzumiya creating a new world with only you, only going back when you kiss her... Haruhi Suzumiya creating extreme instances of closed space when you almost strike her... Haruhi Suzumiya getting extremely jealous when you get close to someone of the opposite sex. Now, what does this mean to you, Kyon-kun?"

Huh?

Wait, she can't... nah. Right?

"Haruhi Suzumiya is in love with you."

I expect you expect me to say something like "Hearing those words, my entire world came crashing down as I experienced shocking realization."

To tell the truth, I just said again, "Huh?"

Asakura just smiled. "My work here is done. Be a little more observant, Kyon-kun, and you might understand exactly what I mean." She sighs softly. "I really don't want to be stored in a junk space again..."

But wait! Why were you, of all people, sent to tell me this?

"Would you really take anyone else seriously, Kyon-kun?"

Before I can respond, she begins to fade. "Nagato-san was supposed to tell you this last night, Kyon-kun. It's too bad she's been reading too many romance novels, because she disobeyed the Entity's direct orders." She gives me a last smile. "Take care of yourself, Kyon-kun."

And just like that, she's gone.

_/_/_/_/_/_/

I couldn't remember the walk to school at all, mostly because I was in, well, shock. How would you react when your... one of your friends has been in love with you the whole time?

I can remember one resounding thought- _I've been stupid._

All the clues that Asakura mentioned was there. But the fact that Haruhi Suzumiya was actaully attracted- _attracted! _to me was just...

I.. don't know.

Stil shaken from my encounter with the rouge humanoid interface, I was kind of nervous when I sat in my seat across from Haruhi. What do you say to someone that's in love with you, dammit?

I settled with a quiet "good morning."

"...Hello."

Crap. Still in her mood. I tried the direct approach. "Hey, Haruhi."

"...Yeah?"

"What's wrong with you? You've been acting all quiet ever since yesterday."

"Hm. I guess."

I waited patiently.

"It's like... you know how I'm always talking about how being normal is boring, right?"

Yeah.

"...Recently, I... discovered something."

What?

"It's... it's nothing. You wouldn't get it." Haruhi turns her serious eyes back toward the window.

"Haruhi- if you want to say something-"

"All right," Okabe announces from the front of the room, "get out your books!'

Reluctantly, I turn away, ready to sleep through another one of sensei's lectures.

_/_/_/_/_/_/

After the day was over, I was walking to the Literature-turned-SOS Brigade clubroom, when I thought about what Asakura said. The fact that Haruhi Suzumiya could have actually fallen for me.

Logically, this makes no sense. Haruhi already told me that she would only go out with supernatural beings, and, well, I'm as normal as you can get.

But when I really think about all that has happened so far, it doesn't really seem so crazy. There's all that stuff Asakura told me, and then, little instances that don't seem to matter unless you put the whole picture together. Haruhi not letting me drink from Asahina-san's water bottle, Haruhi staying overnight with me to edit the movie (though she ended up being more hindrance then help). Haruhi offering me an umbrella, the fact that we could only get out of closed space when I kissed her, Haruhi sharing her stolen umbrella with me...

When you think about it like that, then I guess I really have been completely oblivious. I didn't think I could miss a girl, well, falling in love with me, though...

Could it be that the reason to Haruhi's recent frustration is because she's torn between being the girls inside of her, one that doesn't give a crap about love and one that's in love with me?

Me, of all people. Haruhi chose me.

So what do I think about Haruhi?

During this internal monolouge I have absent-mindedly crashed into the open door, which has sent it flying open and-

"A-ahhhh!"

"I'M SORRY!" I scream and run out the door, closing it behind me. Poor spacey Asahina-san keeps forgetting to lock the door...

When the coast seems to be clear, I walk in.

"Sorry, Asahina-san... I forgot to knock..."

"It's fine, Kyon-kun," she says, blushing a bit and smiling angelically. Oh Asahina-san, your beauty cannot be matched!

"Like hell it was an accident."

The sour voice of our Brigade leader hits me as I realize that Haruhi's been sitting there the whole time.

It was an accident, really!

"Even if it was, you enjoyed it, didn't you? Pervert. And you think nobody notices when you're ogling Mikuru-chan, huh? It's obvious you're all over her. Even if she lifted a little finger, you'd be freaking on your knees."

Wait, where did this come from?

"Suzumiya-san, I-I'm s-sure it was ust a m-misunderstanding..." Asahina-san, of course.

"Oh, shut the hell up, Kyon. Just admit to yourself that it's true," she mutters, eyes flashing dangerously.

Suddenly, she stands sharply up from her chair. "Whatever. I'm going home."

Hey, Koizumi isn't here yet. (I neglected to mention Nagato. She was here the whole time, but she's kind of hard to notice. Kind of like the scenery of this room.)

"I don't care. Goodbye."

She swings her bag over her shoulder and stalks out of the room, a frown on her face, going out of her way to shove me a little as she walks through the open door.

"Kyon-kun... I'm so sorry... this is all my fault..." Asahina-san seems upset.

"No it wasn't. I'm sure she'll be fine tomorrow," I assure her.

She sighs. "I hope so..."

Koizumi actually never showed up to the meeting. He send me a text saying he was shutting down some of Haruhi's closed spaces. I really can't figure out what caused an outburst like this. Comforting Asahina-san a bit more, I walked home alone that day.

I guess the reason for Haruhi's anger was... jealousy. This whole Haruhi-is-in-love-with-me thing is going to take a while to get used to.

Anyway, I really hope I don't wake up in a closed space tonight.

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

_**ALTERNATE cracky ENDING**_

_"_Now, what does this mean to you, Kyon-kun?"

"Huh?"

"OH MY GOD! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FREAKING KIDDING ME! YOU CAN NOT BE THIS FREAKING OBLIVIOUS. I MEAN WHAT THE FREAKING HELL. WE WENT THROUGH LIKE TWO SEASONS, A MINI-SERIES, TEN FREAKING NOVELS AND A FREAKING MANGA ADAPTATION! YOU HAVE GOT TO BE THE MOST IDIOTIC PERSON I HAVE EVER SEEN!"

"I still don't understand what you're talking about."

And that's when Ryoko pulled out her knife. Kyon was never seen or heard from again.

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

**a.n.: oh God, you don't know how it killed me to write Kyon fawning over Mikuru. what an idiot.**

**also, I hate editing. :P**

**in the next chapter, major plot advancement!**


	3. in which trust is lost

It was another normal day in the clubroom for the SOS Brigade. Haruhi is actually acting normal, and I sure am relieved. After her outburst yesterday, I would think that she would have released her jealousy, and she's okay now. Maybe all the stuff I've been warned about is behind me, but I'm not sure.

"Hey, Koizumi, were there any closed spaces yesterday?"

He sighs. "Yes, there were instances of Level Five closed spaces at all times of the night. None of the espers fighting got any sleep. But that doesn't matter."

I frown. "Are you going to suffer from sleep deprivation or something?"

He smiles wryly. "I'll... be fine. At any rate, I hope I get to sleep tonight."

I wonder if Koizumi even wants to be an esper. I mean, the premise seems cool (turning into balls of fire and shooting yourself at blue monsters created from the mind of a high school girl) but I guess it would be really tiring. And it's the fact that Koizumi ust has to be Haruhi's bobblehead too. I wonder if that's annoying for him.

"Kyon-kun, tea..." the sweet voice of Asahina-san jolts me from my thoughts. I happily accept the heavenly drink. "Thanks, Asahina-san."

"You're welcome, Kyon-kun!"

Suddenly a thought occurs to me. "Asahina-san, do you know anything about Haruhi being angry?"

Asahina-san looks puzzled. "Changes in Suzumiya-san's emotional state... um, I'm afraid not, Kyon-kun... why?"

So Asahina-san has no idea about any of this. Maybe this isn't a big deal as I thought it was. Or maybe Asahina-san's superiors just neglected to tell her about all this.

"It's nothing," I decide to say. I don't want to worry her.

"Okay!" she beams, and leaves to go back to her tea corner.

"Hey, Koizumi, I need to talk to Nagato for a second."

He nods. "Of course."

I stand up and walk over to Nagato's chair. "Hey, Nagato."

She doesn't look up.

"Uh, yesterday, I was... visited by Asakura again."

"...I am aware."

"So, she's gone, right?"

"Yes," she says quietly.

"Oh. Great. And by the way, Asakura told me you disobeyed an order from your boss or something... is that going to work out okay?"

"...Yes. I will not be punished. The Integrated Data Sentinent Thought Entity has administered a warning."

"Well... that's great." I sure am relieved Nagato's not going to be deleted or something.

A small nod from the humanoid interface ends the discussion, and I go back to my seat.

Haruhi suddenly bursts in. "Hello, subordinates!"

I can't help but smile. I knew Haruhi couldn't stay quite for long.

"Sorry I'm late." She offers no explanation as to why. She probably just wanted to make an entrance.

Walking to her chair, she continues, "I have nothing specific plannes for today, so go ahead and do whatever you want!"

Don't we do that every day already?

"Shut up, Kyon!"

Ah, she really is back to her old self.

She immediately sits at the computer and begins to click furiously.

I sigh and lean back in my chair.

"Othello, then, Kyon?" Koizumi asks pleasantly.

"Sure."

Maybe things really are back to normal.

_/_/_/_/_/

"It's been a while since I looked through my documents," Haruhi says suddenly, some half an hour later.

"Mm?" I say, not really caring.

"Anwyay, sometimes I write random stuff on here," she says, still clicking up a storm.

"What kind of things, Suzumiya-san?" asks Koizumi.

"Oh, you know."

Haruhi squints at the screen and murmurs to herself. "Eh? Picture files?"

Yeah, computers have that these- wait.

"I don't remember any being on here."

Oh CRAP.

The pictures- the pictures of Asahina-san that I stored on the computer!

"H-hey, Haruhi!"

"Eh? What?" she asks, obviously irritated.

"D-do you-"

"What?" she demands.

"Do you..."

Confused stares from everyone in the room (besides Nagato).

"...like anime?"

She glares at me. "What the hell? Find someone else to blabber to, Kyon, I'm doing something."

She clicks around some more. There's nothing I can do to stop her.

click click click click click-

stop.

"What is-"

frown.

She suddenly raises her voice.

"Koizumi-kun, Mikuru-chan, get out."

Koizumi looks bewildered. "What seems to be the-"

"Just go. Now." The icy voice of the Brigade chief is enough to make anyone comply. Asahina-san whimpers and all but runs out of the room. Koizumi, after shooting me a confused look, leaves as well. I don't think Haruhi saw any reason to kick out Nagato, after all, she's here no matter what happens.

"Kyon. Come here."

This is it. I've done it. The world is going to end.

I slwoly walk over to Haruhi's chair, struggling to keep casual indifference in my voice.

She looks up.

And then-

"WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!"

It's exactly as I feared. Haruhi has found the file I made a long time ago that has the pictures of Asahina-san she took and was about to put on our website. I stopped her just in time and told her I was deleting them, but...

Well, I didn't delete them.

"Oh... um... what are those?"

She looked at me for a second and whispered "You're a terrible liar."

She shook her head suddenly.

"I was wrong."

Wha-

"I was wrong. I thought you were different. I thought you weren't like the other boys in our grade, the pervert ones, the ones that only cared about girls and crap like that. I thought that deep down, you wanted adventure, just like me. I thought you were-"

She hesitates. "I thought you were my friend."

Oh my God.

"I was wrong. I was wrong about everything. And here I go, thinking I'm so great. That I can just go and make some club and I'll actually be sucessful."

"Haruhi-"

"Shut up. Just shut up. Now I understand. Why you complained all the time but you never left."

She was quiet for a second.

"Mikuru-chan. You'll do anything for a pretty face."

"L-listen-"

"Oh, shut up. You'd do anything for her. Anything. Think I don't ssee you staring at her every single freaking day? Maids turn you on, huh?"

"Haruhi-

"I-" she starts to interrupt, but I jump back in.

"Maids don't turn me on. You know what does."

She looks at me suddenly, and for a second I see shock in her eyes.

"That was a dream," she mutters.

I take a deep breath. "What if it wasn't?"

She gasps slightly, then looks away. "You're messing with me. Screw you."

"Haru-"

She grabs her bag and stalks out the door.

"Suzumiya-san?" It's their voices coming from outside, but I don't care.

I've done more than put the world in danger. I've lost Haruhi's trust in me.

And that might be worse.

Koizumi and Asahina-san rush into the clubroom. "Kyon-kun? What happened?" Asahina-san cries in terror. Koizumi has a look of seriousness on his face.

"I...I..."

"Haruhi found some pictures of you on the computer, Asahina-san, and assumed that Kyon had stored them there. She got extremely angry and left."

And that's Koizumi coming to my rescue.

"Oh no," Asahina-san whimpered.

"I would think it best if you go home," Koizumi said casually.

"Ano... okay," she says, grabbing her briefcase. "I'm sorry, Kyon-kun... this is my fault..."

"It's fine, Asahina-san..."

She gives us a tearful nod and exits, leaving me, Nagato, and Koizumi in the room.

"This is extrememly serious," Koizumi says. "The rate of closed spaces foring could easily envelope the world by tomorrow."

"Chances of recreation are 78 percent and rising by an average of one minute and twenty-two seconds," comes Nagato's always-calm voice. When I turn to look at her, she no longer has her book, and her eyes are narrowed.

"I-I'm sorry, okay? I can't help it that whenever a mentally unstable fifteen-year-old girl is pissed, the world ends!" someone yells. I realize it's me.

"You need to make up with her," Koizumi says again. There's an emotion in his eyes that I can't quite place. Anger? Distrust? But that's not possible...

"I can't! She's already mad at me!"

"Chances of recreation 82 percent and rising."

"It's the only way we can get her to calm down."

"Chances of recreation 84 percent and rising."

"She's not going to listen to me!"

"85 percent."

"Why can't-"

"Shut up!"

Koizumi stops. Nagato stops. They both look at me.

"Just... I-I can't-"

Nagato's eyes narrow.

"I have to go," I find myself saying.

I back out of the room, then run home.

_/_/_/_/_/

**a.n.: cliffhanger. it would suck if i abandoned this, right? but i would never do that. i've read to may awesome-yet-abandoned stories coughcrossingthestarscough.**

**(sorry.)**

**triforceelf: you're so right. xD**

**amayawolfguardian: (bows) i shall satisfy your request for MOAR!**

**anymous: (sp?) crap. you're right. (bonks self on head) **

**read, fave, and reviewwww!**


	4. in which realization occurs

I don't know what I'm doing.

That was my only conscious thought as I ran home, ran God knows how fast. I think it's safe to say that I just snapped. Shame coursed through me, then anger. It's not my fault! I'm the only normal person in a club of enigmatic and strange beings! I'm the only thing keeping this world stable. And there's the whole matter of God being in love with me as well!

I finally stopped at the door to my house, breathing hard and leaning over with my hands on my knees.

What have I done?

I glance up to the sky, half expecting to see the dark blue haze of closed space enveloping the world. But there's ust a stormy gray. Damn, now it's raining. I try to not think about what could be causing it.

Not knowing what else to do, I wander inside my home. I don't know how, but my little sister can read my mood, so instead of giving me a flying tackle hug when I get home, she picks up her toys and walks away.

I go to my room and collapse on the bed, staring at the ceiling.

Haruhi Suzumiya loves me. Me, a normal guy that I would think didn't hold her interests whatsoever.

And she thought I didn't love her.

Did I? Did she really love me?

I don't know. I can't tell. I don't know anything anymore. The world is about to end and I'm sitting here on my bed. Millions of people are going about their daily lives, not knowing that the universe rests in the hands of a high-school girl.

Enough.

Just... enough. I can't think of this anymore.

For the rest of the evening, I watch random channels on TV, do my homework, surf the Internet, anything but face the fact that the world was going to end. It didn't seem to work, as that was the one constant thought in my mind.

Twice my hand reached toward the phone. I dialed her number with shaking hands once, but hung up around the second ring.

I was... afraid. Afraid that Haruhi wouldn't pick up, or worse, pick up and reject me.

Finally the time of night came where I could go to sleep. I collapsed on my bed. After the stressful events of the day, I fell asleep easily.

_/_/_/_/_/_/

One moment I could feel my bed under my body, and the next I could only feel... nothing. Absolutely nothing at all.

Had I woken up as I was falling off my bed? No, this was not the case. This state of being on nothing was way too long for falling.

I slowly opened one eye, than the other.

All around me, I could see nothing but white- absolutely nothing. It was terrifying. I could feel, see, hear, nothing. Was I dead or something?

I tried to stand up, and found that I could. Experimentally, I clapped my hands. The sound was loud, but stopped far quicker than it should have. I straightened myself and looked down.

I was wearing my North High uniform.

My worst fears were conformed. Haruhi had led me into a closed space. Again. But I remember being in a closed space. There were giant blue monsters, and it was like a dark version of the real world...

And last time, Haruhi was beside me.

...Where's Haruhi?

I looked around frantically, which of course proved to be useless. When you're in a space where everything is white, you're not going to find anything. Or anyone.

Raw fear began to bite over me until I noticed something in the distance.

It was like someone had painted a picture of a scene in the whiteness. I began to run toward it so fast that I felt I might trip over my own legs.

The little "painted" space came closer until I found I was standing in it, and I looked around and found where I was.

It was the baseball field, the same field Haruhi had taken the SOS Brigade and others to play against the... Pirates or whatever. I can't really remember.

The field was empty of humans, but otherwise it was like a perfect photograph of it. I knelt down, touched grass, and stood back up.

I frowned slightly. Why was this place here?

And then I remember, as clearly as if someone had shot the memory into my head.

Haruhi looking at me and saying,

_"If it's okay with you, then I guess that's fine."_

I took a deep breath to calm myself. Haruhi...

I saw another small space in the distance, and began running toward it full speed. The soles of my shoes made little sound as they padded against the whiteness.

There was another little scene. I got there and skidded to a stop. It was... the street near Nagato's apartment? Why was this here?

And then I remembered- walking home from school with Haruhi.

That must have been more important to Haruhi than she let on. My throat tightened as I wondered if I would ever see her again...

Now isn't the time for this. I need to find Haruhi and get out of here!

I ran ahead to another scene which had appeared in the distance. While running toward it, I saw that the space was... a rainy day?

Haruhi sharing her stolen umbrella with me and walking home from school with me. I remember...

_"One should be enough."_

If I don't find Haruhi, I'm going to kill myself! I'll commit hara-kiri and seppuku and suicide all at the same time!

If I never see her again... I'll never get over losing her.

Many other scenes passed, but they were all a blur. The SOS Brigade clubroom, the tree that I found Haruhi sitting in after her preformance at the culture festival, the very stage she sang those two songs on, the cave in which Haruhi spared me the knowledge that I "killed" Keiichi-san... tears stung my eyes once. I wiped them away and kept running furiously.

I was just beginning to feel raw terror when I saw a door in the distance.

I don't know how I remember, but the door was the same one Koizumi, Arawaka, and I broke down on that remote island.

Now I understand. This place is made entirely of Haruhi's memories. Namely the ones that are most important to her. And all of them, in some way, involve me.

She cares about me. She loves me. And now it's time to ask myself. I can avoid the question no longer. _What does Haruhi mean to me?_

But before I do, I need to open this door. Yeah. Th-that's what I need to do right now.

I put my hand on the doorknob and turned slowly.

I was in a narrow hallway. At the end of the hallway was another door. I walked through and turned the doorknob.

And then I opened the door. When you open a door, you are using the force of your hand to push open a door, a rectangular piece of painted wood. The first door was created by-

Okay, okay, I'll tell you what happened.

I opened the door and saw the same closed space I was used to, with the atmosphere and sky dark blue.

And in the middle of it all was a bench that was turned away from me.

I could see-_thank God_-the back of Haruhi's head. But what didn't make me happy or relieved was the fact that she seemed to be crying.

Crying. The tough, strong, beautiful, love-is-a-mental-disease Haruhi was crying softly. And I bet you anything it was because of me.

I was as scared as hell to approach her, but it turned out I didn't have to. Haruhi turned around and gasped, furiously wiping her eyes. "Y-you! Why the hell are you here! Th-this is my dream!"

She glared at me furiously for a second, before her shoulders slumped and she turned back around. "S-screw this. I know it's not a d-dream."

"Haruhi..."

"Please just stop talking to me." Quiet Haruhi was back.

"But-"

Haruhi stood up suddenly, and the bench dissapeared. She turned to face me and stood there, fists clenched and looking determined. "L-look. I have to tell you something."

I was silent, afraid of breaking the mood.

Haruhi took a deep breath. "Listen. I know it seems like I don't give a crap about anything that happens to anyone in the brigade."

You may think it seems like that, but actually, you care about all of them a lot.

She continued. "And you may think I hate you or something and I only use you, but..."

She draws a shaky breath and spoke again. "I... I like you. It's st-stupid. But I found after a wh-while that I... I couldn't stop thinking about you, Kyon. I got jealous whenever you looked at some other girl. And... I started to- I thought it was stupid. I thought th-that lo- that liking someone was retarded so I... I started fighting it. But the more I tried to stop thinking of you like that, I... l-liked you even more and-" she stops to take a breath. "And it sucked even more, because I knew you didn't like me. You didn't. You hated me and you were- you stared at Yuki-chan and Mikuru-chan and I..." she stops, then looks at me square in the eye.

"I think... I love you."

I had already heard it before, and I already had my suspicions. But hearing her say that it was like someone had just- I... don't know.

"I'm sorry."

Her unnaturually quite voice speaks up again. "It's a- it's a weakness of mine. Leaders... don't have weaknesses..."

"Stop."

My voice surprises even me, and she looks at me with confusion.

"Haruhi, even the strongest, bravest, leaders have weaknesses." I gently lay my hand on her shoulder. "Of course, none of them were as strong as you."

Her eyes fill with fresh tears. "D-don't. L-last time when we had to l-leave here, you... kissed me, and now..."

She looks at me again. "Kyon, I'm going to... stay here."

"_What?"_

"It's... the right thing to do. I'm just making life worse f-for you, right? If you want to be with someone else, than th-that's fine. I shouldn't stop you..."

Now I understand. If Haruhi chooses to stay in this world, she has no idea she'll be destroying the other one. So I have to tell her this, but if I do, she'll realize her powers. So I need to convince her to get back to the regular world.

I have to tell the truth.

I take a breath. "No," I whisper. "Haruhi, you've got it all wrong. I need you. I need you to be there so you can sit behind me every day and say whatever crazy thing you've thought of next. I need you there because I need the SOS Brigade to create excitement in my life. I need you because I need someone to tutor me for tests. I need you to go on fruitless city searches for whatever crazy mysteries you make up in that amazing mind of yours."

I breathe again. She looks at me, tears falling freely. "Y-y-you're n-not just saying that to l-leave?"

"Of course not," I whisper. "Because..."

I smile and pull her close. "I need _you_, Haruhi Suzumiya."

Without regrets and willingly, I kiss her.

Haruhi is stiff for only a second before relaxing completely in my arms. She huggs me from behind, leaning closer. I gently let my hand lace through her soft hair, my other hand still on her shoulder.

Suddenly, the sky begins to crack, but it doesn't matter to me because I know everything will be all right.

There's a final flash of light. Haruhi pulls away in the midst of it all and whispers, "Kyon..."

I can hear her last whisper clearly as the space falls down around us.

"_Thank you_."

_/_/_/_/_/_/_/_/

**a.n.: My hand hurts.**

**So that was cute, huh?**

**Read, review (PLEAAAAASE), favorite, alert, enjoy!**


	5. an epilogue of sorts

a.n: To aplologize for the lateness, I'm going to hit myself on the head. Three times. I did it, really. You can see how sorry I feel because I am using proper case. :D

...ow.

_/_/_/

_Haruhi Suzumiya._

This time I wasn't in my bed. This time I was... outside my house? What's up with that?

I sighed. Now I'm going to have to sneak back in.

I slowly opened the door.

"Hi, Kyon-kun!"

Dammit! Why isn't this freakishly energetic girl asleep? My little sister smiled at me.

"Kyon-kun," she said curiously, "where were you?"

"Don't be so loud," I muttered as I quickly scooped her off her feet.

"Hey!" she protested, but quickly surrendered to a fit of giggles.

"Shhh," I warned as we moved up the stairs.

I moved quietly passed my parent's room, and thankfully Imouto was quiet until I laid her down into her own bed.

"Good night! Kyon-kun!"

"Yeah, yeah."

I headed to my own room and fell onto my bed. Okay, so now I know whatever happened wasn't a dream. Maybe... Haruhi wants to make sure of that too? Maybe she doesn't want it to be like last time- when we acted like it was all a dream. But if Haruhi knows she's been the subject of a supernatural-ish experience, she'll- oh, who the hell cares.

I tried to stop thinking and go to sleep, but my thoughts drifted back to Haruhi. Haruhi. Ribbons, smile, eyes, girl, brigade, arm band, kiss, beautiful, love- ugh! Stop!

That's it- I'm going to sleep.

_/_/_/_/

I was a bit nervous when I got to school this morning, for reasons that should be obvious.

"Hey," I greeted Haruhi as I sat down on my desk.

She looked at me square in the eyes. "I know."

"Wh-what?"

She sighed. "I know, okay? I know. There's no use trying to hide it."

"U-uh, I don't know what you're talking about."

Haruhi reached out and struck me across the face.

For half a moment, I was in shock, like someone is after a horrible accident.

Haruhi looked furious. "Bastard! Jackass! Idiot! Don't deny it! I know that that dream or whatever really happened! Last night, I was outside your house!"

"Wait, my house?"

"Yeah! I saw you as you went inside!"

"Why were you outside my house?"

"How the hell should I know!" she yelled, moving her face close to mine so I could hear her yelling clearer, I guess.

We had flowed into our usual conversational, well, argumentative, rhythm, and I was suddenly overcome with a calmness I couldn't describe. Everything was right and normal... well, I'm not good at saying this, but... we had regained our usual normal abnormalcy so easily, the sense of Haruhi-and-Kyon arguing again, and when we got to the clubroom in the afternoon again, Nagato would read, Koizumi would smile, Asahina-san would make tea, Haruhi woul be Haruhi, her amazing self.

Yes, amazing, because last night I realized Haruhi means a lot to me, really. I know what you're expecting me to say, but can we ust leave it at that for now?

"Well, it was all thanks to my plan that we got out of that space," Haruhi suddenly says.

"What?" I say, surprised.

"I said some... stuff to get out of there. Last time we..." she struggled to think of an adective for "kissed" but couldn't think of anything, instead having to continue, "you know. So now I thought, if I did that, we would leave and come back..." she trailed off.

I don't think so. Last night, the emotion Haruhi displayed was definitely real. I remember. Beside myself, I smiled.

"What are you so happy about? Approving my master plan?" she said.

"Haruhi, you forgot my penalty."

"...Eh?"

"My penalty. For-"

"Yeah, I know, I'm not stupid," she snapped.

"Well?" I said, grinning. "What is it?"

She frowned, then smiled slowly. "Saturday, after school. Come someplace with me."

"Where's someplace?" I asked, looking at the ribbon-wearing girl.

"It doesn't matter."

And it really didn't, as long as she was with me. And I'm not just talking about Saturday.

Haruhi, wherever you go, I'll follow you.

**~fin~**

_/_/_/

**OH GOD IT'S FINALLY DONE.**

**I REWROTE THIS THREE TIMES**

**GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH**

**GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH**

**Well, I hope you enjoyed the story. Now, you can all add it to your favorites. :D**

**Review, 'kay? REVIEW. THAT'S AN ORDER. **

**Please.**

**This brings us to the end of our tale. But you'll see me more soon, in my collection of oneshots entitled "echoes from faded time planes". Please go check that out. It's HaruKyon.**

**Well, bye, I guess.**

**~secret base**


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